If I wake up tomorrow and the Daily Mail tells me it is all over, I’m going to tell you, I’ll be devastated.
I know I’ve been a blogging slacker and I should have found the time.
I know I should have had a crack last night when Jarrod told Kiera that when he was with her she made him glow, when I thought all along it was sunburn.
I know I should have been screaming at the tellie for Apollo to ditch that whining whinging Simone.
But something I never expected to do was be cheering for Sam and Tara.
I have had something of a love/hate affair with Sam like everyone else. When he first arrived with his posse of adorable nephews and the worst hair of any bachelor in the history of The Bachelorette, I was gunning for him to win Sophie’s heart.
Then before the end of the first cocktail party he was running around the pool in his saggy long-johns and I had had my fill of him. He was loud-mouthed and full of himself and all wrong for Sophie.
Then Sophie picked Stu, dumped him six months later and landed herself a hosting gig on Love Island, and suddenly who could blame any of them if they were all using the show to get a bit of attention on their mugs.
Still, when he walked into Bachelor in Paradise, I know I groaned. And when he latched onto Tara when Michael went on his date with whichever one it was, it all just looked like he was angling for a rose and a bit more screen time.
But instead, suddenly we started to see less and less of Tara and Sam. They weren’t causing any controversy or any drama and the cameras didn’t seem interested, and when we did see them their eyes glistened when they looked at each other and they seemed totally wrapt in one another.
So tonight, when he stood near a Fijian beach, still without any socks, still with a bird’s nest of unkempt hair held together with a stray rubber band, I wasn’t groaning. I was cheering him on and I was wanting him to propose and I wanted Tara to say yes and I wanted to shed a little tear.
He did. She did. I did.
And I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
So I take back every mean word I ever said. But by god, Sam…I’ll be watching the Daily Mail with an eagle eye, and if you do the dirty on our Queensland girl, I won’t be happy.
Because you’ve taken Tara off the market…and now we’re stuck with Ali as our next Bachelorette.
Title photo: Bachelor in Paradise Australia Facebook page